I have been living in the US for almost ten years, 6 of which I lived in San Francisco.
I remember when I came fresh out of Boulder, Colorado, and sought advice from mentors in the city. A particular coffee I had with my friend Shane Steele comes as a fond memory.
She said: in the early days, be default to yes. I blogged about it at the time. That strategy turned out to be valuable in the early days.
Thank you, Shane.
I ended up meeting a lot of people, and that generated a positive flow of opportunity.
Default to yes is no longer valid when you start being successful.
Then, you must focus on and be selective.
I like the "No or Hell Yes" framework, popularized by Tim Ferris.
Every day, I get at least 20 people wanting a favor, "15-minutes", a coffee to pick my brain.
If you let other people take your time away, you will die a busy, unhappy person.
Command respect for your time — Double-Opt in people.
Once you start being successful, it is either “Hell Yes or No.”
Start saying No more often and you will live in peace.
Essentialism is a beautiful book on this topic.
That said, always take risks, leave room for the unexpected, and don't try to over-plan your life. Sometimes, randomness is good.
If you are busy, you are not in control of your life.
It is as simple as that.
Having strong opinions is important. It will make people listen to you. Holding them weakly and adapting demonstrates character and humility.
Hold the elevator for someone, genuinely be happy for a friend you love, and even raise millions of dollars for your entrepreneurial quest. Express your joy.
Protecting yourself from your mind and ego is a daily endeavor. When you are not present, the voice of your thoughts comes in and dominates you.