Suicide and founder depression

2017 was the most challenging year of my life. I had depression. I thought about suicide a couple of times. Often things felt scary, and I struggled to get out of bed. I almost ran out of money, ultimately. I had to ask my parents for financial help, and I was 28. It felt embarrassing. I had impostor’s syndrome.

I don’t think I would ever kill myself. I am much stronger than that. That said, life was painful from May-November of that year. I had lost my grandpa, which for me was like losing my father. I had anchor LPs commit to ONEVC, only to vanish last minute.

There were many times I wanted it all to vanish. You wake up, and everything sucks. I know how it feels.

Today, having found significance in life and having had self-actualized I am in love with life.

HQ's Trivia CEO and Vine's co-founder, Colin Kroll, killed himself during this holiday season. Last year Anthony Bourdain and Kate Space killed themselves in the same week. All successful in their fields.

You can only find happiness within. You deserve it (we all do), but you have to work for it. Work on yourself first. Always.

Last week a great article on founder mental health was posted on TechCrunch. We need to talk about this matter.

Founders are:

• 2X more likely to suffer from depression
• 6X more likely to suffer from ADHD
• 3X more likely to suffer from substance abuse
• 10X more likely to suffer from bipolar disorder
• 2X more likely to have a psychiatric hospitalization
• 2X more likely to have suicidal thoughts

Recently I came across the "what we are reading" list from Collaborative Fund and found this simple, but impactful image: 

Happiness = being somewhere between having too much and too little. Look at David Rubenstein, Buffet, Gates, etc.

On Depression and hard times

I promise you that it goes away. Like everything in life, it is all temporary. You must fight a good fight with yourself, as you are the only one capable of your salvation. Find guidance in mentors, religion, love, friends, therapy, work but if YOU don’t take action, nobody will.

You must be the captain of your soul, the master of your destiny.

Focus on the things money can't buy. It will put you on the fast track for self-actualization. I try to keep things simple. I am happy if I am writing, working on getting fit, loving my girlfriend, family, friends, and building ONEVC. In no particular order.

The first VC I saw speaking about this was Feld. Kudos to him too.

ps: if you need help, feel free to reach out.